Friday, April 8, 2011
The Grocery Store
Have you ever noticed you plan out a party, weeks meals, etc etc and you have this mental shopping list you've been preparing for days or even weeks, you go over it again in your head while driving in the car to the store...Chicken, sour cream, cheese, rice, etc etc. Then you grab your buggy, cross the threshold into said store and boom.......your mind is blank. What am I here for again? Do I have eggs? God those green beans look good. Did I need eggs? Is that my neighbor? What am I making Tuesday? Seriously! What happens in your noggin? Is it an over load of your brain when it sees all the stuff you could buy or is it some special grocery store conspiracy so you'll buy more? Whatever it is, you promise yourself that next time you will bring a list. But it's too late for that so you have to go isle by isle scanning everything to make sure you don't miss anything and end up buying three times as much as you needed. Your list was short! It had maybe 20 items on it and now you need another buggy and an assistant (my friend hates it when I call a shopping cart a buggy, I'm gonna see if I can type buggy like 15 more times before I'm done....buggy buggy buggy buggy buggy!) Anywho, back to what I was saying. You now have enough stuff to feed a 3rd world country and make dinner for the next week. So you walk to the front to pick an line, damn it! I need crackers, which is like 15 isles back, but you're here and you need them so you trot back to the back and get the stupid crackers. Well by this time everyone else in the store has decided to check out now. You don't know how or why, but it just happened you spent 2 hours at the store and spent a billion dollars. Now, load all this mess into your car. You're exhausted by this point because it's Florida, it's hot and you just loaded 1/4 of the store in your car. You plop down in the front seat and.......Shit! I forgot the rice!